Spring cleaning? Pollocks, Winter's where it's at!

[Hairy_Mark]

Help!
I have just gone mad cleaning the house. This is obviously a symptom of some serious malaise. Granted, the initial motivation for these draconian measures was reasonable, but for Bod's sake! The place is becoming vaguely civilized. Such a thing has not been known for many decades, perhaps since the birth of time. That may have been a bit too poetic, but you take my point.

The original objective is almost complete. I needed to clear sufficient space in the kitchen to bring my poor cold Raptor in from the garage. The rest though, is superfluous. Cleaning and tidying for the sake of it! Oh, dear Ford! I think I'm sick. I am trying to purge the vicious ailment by playing Linkin Park very loudly through my NAD amp, Monitor Audio floor standers and Monitor Audio 500W sub-woofer. This seems to help, but the alleviation of the hideous symptoms is only temporary. The neighbourhood is somewhat perturbed by my chosen remedy. Sod them, can't they see I'm terminal?

What do you advise?

[dizzyblonde]

I advise polishing your downpipe. Rub it to within an inch of its life with course scratchy things, then rub it some more and sooth it better with a tube of cream.


If it doesn't get results from tip to end.....I'm afraid you will have to muster the strength to do it all over again.


Well, its better than cleaning your kitchen and I'm sure Bella will be thankful

[Hairy_Mark]

Dizzy,

I am but a simple and very hairy Northern peasant, yet even I detect sexual undertones in the proposed remedy. Just in case I am mistaken, I shall forthwith administer Solvol Autosol to the wedding tackle and Johnson's Baby Oil to the exhaust downpipes of my V-twin, whilst showing it a copy of 'Club' magazine...or was it the other way around?

Aaarghhhhhhhhhh!

Caution! Autosol should not be applied to the nether regions!

At least it's stopped me cleaning the house! Thanks Dizzy?

[dizzyblonde]

No no no!

Bellas downpipe! Green brillo pads, oven cleaner, bar keepers friend, wet and dry paper......autosol..anything in your kitchen to clean it.

My friend, I have a fetish for polishing, just not my home, anything for the bike over housecleaning, call it OCD!

Ask Shebee, I can't even attend a camping weekend without getting a hosepipe out!

[shebee]

Equal and Opposite actions to create Balance... Diz is a highly polished item, I'm scruffy and grubby... Ive just washed the HD and sprayed it with ACF50, its the Rap's turn this weekend.


I too have had an attack of domesticity, Ive made the cake for Yule and bought a new fridge... there will be no comments about the 3 hours it took us to get it stuck down the hall and the resulting removal of fridge doors, bits of doorframe and skirting board... but its in the kitchen now and is staying! There is only a little bit of plastering to do to restore the house

[Hairy_Mark]

Shebee,
I've said it before and i'll say it again, houses are just not designed properly. I like the look of bar-end mirrors, but can't fit them 'cause the kitchen door isn't wide enough to get the Raptor in with them on.

I think i'll go into architecture and design proper motorbike friendly houses with floors that are grippy even when wet, so that you don't lose the front end and ram the fridge, etc. Ideally, you should be able to get your bike into any room, downstairs or up. That way you can listen to your hifi whilst polishing, or even go off to sleep with the comforting image of a big V-twin being the last thing in your mind.

You know it makes sense.

[snapdragon]

That is Such a good plan HM - I have one of those 100yr old houses with a very narrow door and hallway and a bay window at the front - now if the middle of the bay window were to go down to the ground and a nice gentle slope created to roll the bike in ....... what joy

otoh you are right! winter is the cleaning time, if only I had the energy

[AZ]

About 11 years back i had the chance of having a bike friendly haouse as we were having a conservatory erected and it was to have double doors where i would be able to get the bike in, no problem.On returning from work all excited on the day i was expecting to have a finished conservatory with bike friendly access ,what did i find.My wonderful wife had realized my plan and had ammended the order for the said structure to be made with a single exterior access door .She wouldn`t be budged so i went out and bought a 1967 jag to fill up the garden instead.If the house is hers then the garden is all mine .

[mandie82]

My dad did the same as you AZ but got away with it so my mum left him.. It was the happiest day of his life he said. He had the bikes in the conservatory and then decided to knock through to the kitchen and livingroom so he could move them in there when the conservatory got too cold in winter I bought the house off him and have mine there now